"Joe, I can't support the amount of communication we've been having. Now, it's harder to lay down the law with a friend, but you're going to have to. If it hadn't, I would have upped the consequences, such as a week's timeout instead of a day's timeout. If she violated any of these rules, then I made sure that I did NOT call her in the 24 hours after she violated the rule. If I didn't, she was allowed to call me ONCE in the next 24 hours. The rule was that if she called me precisely ONCE and left a message on my cell, clearly and directly asking me to call her back, I would probably call her within 24 hours. With my mother (and I realize that's a different relationship) I set conditions for communicating with her, and I clearly explained them to her. This will probably mean accepting that the friendship might end. I think that you're going to have to set a boundary, enforce the boundary, and try not to care about his reaction. But from what I've caught onto, its usually only something he can get my attention for so he can go "Well, since I have you on the phone." And then he starts talking to me about random things that just have no connection to his original problem and are simply not important. When he talks about "urgency" he usually dose have a problem, but its usually only minor problem, like something I usually cant help him with and sometimes I'm sure he could care for on his own. I'm not even going to bring sexuality into the mix ether. There's nothing between us other then a long-term friendship. I'm only clarifying this because I saw it brought up. (Unless I have misunderstood what you mean.) Matter of fact, we hate depending on others. I'm not a person who would use someone else for any reason and neither has he. Otherwise, I'm sure if that was the case, I would have picked up on it. If you consider being short fused a mental illness.
I'm desperate for some way to fix this without ending what would be a perfectly fine friendship otherwise. It's putting a strain on our friendship and I can't stand doing this everyday. And the direct approach only gets similar results with the same excuse: "I have a right to call my friends!" I can understand like once a week, but 3 or more times a day. I'll wake up after a nap or coming back from outside, only to find tons of messages and voicemails with a slow progression of him getting pissed off because I didn't answer his calls. He will begin spam calling and texting me till I pick up.
And these conversations will go on forever, to the point of wasting my time because there talking about stuff I really don't care about or he talked about it already. I could be at work, or out in town, or doing chores, and I'd have to drop everything.
Can you call me?" Then even if I tell him if he can just text me or if it can wait, he will call me anyways. It's important." or "I have a question to ask you. He always makes some kind of excuse why he needs to call me, for example he will say "I need you to call me. My friend calls me 3 to 4 times a day and texts me non-stop. I have a close friend who I have been very supportive of each-other and it's been a relatively decent friendship but lately it's gotten out of hand.
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